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As a late bloomer, I have only come into my own sexually in my 40s. Unfortunately for them, I am neither alone nor sad.
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Like all straight men, they want not a partner but a servant, a nurse they dream will hold their hand while they die. Part of the revulsion they have for me, is the fear that they’ll end up alone and sad, like me. Many more gay men now ask me, like straight men and women did all my life, why I am not married, why I don’t have kids, why I do not settle down, why I have never found a boyfriend/husband. If some gym-cranked hottie hits you up at midnight, you can be assured he’s high on MDMA and needs a sexual fix right now. But the emotional violence of that bravado is showing in how many new drug subcultures have mushroomed on these sites: from MDMA to ecstasy and poppers, they are all openly on offer.
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Most men also remain, as they state, uninterested in long-term relationships, interested in just a quickie. Their pictures are at least 10 years old, some are just fake pics of other people. I know at least ten guys whose age, like Rekha (who turned 30 for at least three decades running), has not changed despite a passing decade. I do research on these websites, and have been on them for years. Guys who are not even rent boys suddenly become rent boys if I say ‘Hi’ to them even as they fumble with how much they charge and what they will do and will not do in bed. When men meet me, they are forever telling me I look younger than I am, that I do not look in my 40s at all and are not happy that I am not grateful for the compliment. The presumption is that at my age, I ought to pay for sex if I want to expect any at all. Men insult and abuse me openly on these websites now as an older guy but, worse, they immediately tell me they are ‘paid guys’ (that’s the Indian term). To child sexual abuse activists, he was just a predator who had it coming. Hansal Mehta’s unwatchable Aligarh had to airbrush the old, slow-moving and unbecoming Siras into the palatable and hot Manoj Bajpayee and make the sordid sex between two older men (the second being a poor and middle-aged Muslim rikshawala) into hot sex between a hottie and a hipster.
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The older gay man was, and remains, a central source of exploitation, ridicule and murder (as with the not too distant murder of the 57-year-old banker from Besant Nagar in Chennai by four young boys), but is now the source of open ridicule. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.This is not to romanticise any earlier moment. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are: More information about the RTA Label and compatible services can be found here. Parental tools that are compatible with the RTA label will block access to this site. We use the "Restricted To Adults" (RTA) website label to better enable parental filtering. Protect your children from adult content and block access to this site by using parental controls. PARENTS, PLEASE BE ADVISED: If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to keep any age-restricted content from being displayed to your children or wards. Furthermore, you represent and warrant that you will not allow any minor access to this site or services. This website should only be accessed if you are at least 18 years old or of legal age to view such material in your local jurisdiction, whichever is greater. You are about to enter a website that contains explicit material (pornography).